It’s Advent
and I’m wondering
what I’m waiting for
trying to concentrate
while a little kid
in Nemo shoes
does gymnastics
in his dad’s lap
while soaking up
endless ‘shush‘es
I’m getting better
at ignoring kids
so I do
until he ascends
the chair
I’m sitting in
to get in my face
and remind me
of what I’ve lost
But Advent longing
doesn’t work backward
and I can’t subscribe
to any of that
heavenly shill
so I sit
right here
and now
waiting
for understanding
waiting
for peace
waiting
and waiting
Posted in: grief