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Bedtime Litany

January 12, 2009

While the three of us were getting her ready for bed, our daughter and her mother were going through our (increasingly regular) litany of “who is coming to our house!”

“Nana, and Duffy” (Nana’s dog). Yes, and?
“And Bampa” Yes, and?
“And Baby Sister!” Yes, that’s right. Your baby sister is coming to live with us soon. We’re going to have so much fun, and we’re going to love her, and–”
“And William!–”
And we all paused as Stacy reminded us all that yes, William lived with us once before… her voice trailing off as she and I shared some trembly tears. “…and it sure would be nice to be all together again…”

Which about sums up the liminal space we’re in just now. Happy and excited for the life that is growing and about to emerge to share our life together, but also sad for that which will ever be incomplete, ever empty, ever disappointing. At this time, we are overwhelmingly thankful to God for what looks to be an uneventful birth and a healthy baby, even as feel cheated that our son didn’t have the same opportunities. As in the traditional Seder supper, we raise a glass to celebrate our blessings, even as we diminish our glasses to recognize that our joy is not complete. Thanks be to God.

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One Response to “Bedtime Litany”

  1. Greta says:

    You have an amazing daughter and an amazing wife. I am so impressed that Ella seems to have such a firm grasp on the fact that William is part of her life without feeling weighed down by it. I hope she can carry that with her. And I’m so impressed with the way you and Stacy are living and loving and remembering and honoring. I love you guys so much!

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