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Fake It, ‘Til You Make It

April 24, 2008

Yeah, I know Jesus said a bunch of stuff about whitewashed tombs, and dishes that were only clean on the outside. But in spite of that wisdom, I decided to do a little window dressing on my face:


That’s right, it’s my very own Amish beard. If I can’t become a peaceable person, then I can at least look like one. Granted, I don’t have the haircut, or the sweet flat hat, but maybe I’ll be a better person, just by proximity. Or at least stop muttering to people in traffic.

Day one was interesting. People at the store seemed to smile a little more than usual, but that just begs the question, “Are they looking at me, or am I looking at them (looking at me)?” Of course, the obviously Jewish man– wearing a long beard, black and white clothes, and a yalmulke– speaking right out to me while we waited for a crosswalk this morning gave me pause. But again, was that because of my beard, or simply because he has that very familiar manner of a person from the midwest? Still, it’s got me thinking about the uniforms we all wear, and what they communicate about us.

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10 Responses to “Fake It, ‘Til You Make It”

  1. Mike Croghan says:

    Dude, we totally need to get you a sweet flat hat. Where do they sell those, I wonder…?

  2. Ryan says:

    I could probably get the hat and some denim overalls from my in-laws.

  3. Jackie says:

    Oh no, we need the real thing–black pants, we’ll make sure there are no buttons, only hook and eye closures–and we’ll be sure to put suspenders on them and then we’ll get you a nice dark purple or dark blue shirt to wear underneath it all. It’ll be awesome!

    I admit I was a little freaked when I saw the picture at first. ;) The first thing I thought was “Abraham Lincoln”…perhaps the background had a subliminal effect on me.

    Oh, and I have to add that my uncle (who drives Amish around in Lancaster county PA) was talking to a lady he was taking somewhere last week and asked her who she would prefer to have elected as president and she answered, “Well now….I don’t really know. I don’t really follow these things in the news at all.”

    Can you imagine?? I admit…sometimes I think it would be nice to know that little about the goings-on in our country.

  4. Trish Groe says:

    I would love to be (blissfully) unaware of what goes on in this country. Mike, can’t say I am a fan of the beard but I do love what is on the inside…I guess I am lov’n your guts!!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I do believe the terms are “simple” and especially, “plain.” Some hook and eye closure clothes and a bright lime green accessory just to throw off the curious.
    Tom D.M.

  6. flippin says:

    I’ll say it, I think it looks goofy. What say the betrothed? The alarm clock?

  7. kate says:

    My word. That IS an Amish beard. I think i noticed something was a little … different, but didn’t really put it all together…

    The horror! (mock gasp)

  8. Ha! I dig the style … maybe I’ll try that next year. I got my beard dyed on March 27 and — as Mike pointed out on Monday, both of us shaved it over the weekend of April 26 or so.

    By the way, good to meet you!

    —Jayce (Jason Olshefsky)

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