A Very Scary Christmas

On this night of love and good cheer, children everywhere are staving off visions of sugar plums as they wait for Santa Claus.

My nine-year-old nephew is in a similar state of expectation, though his intentions might be slightly different: he has built a bunker overlooking the fireplace, and he’s heavily armed with a Nerf sniper rifle, Nerf grenade launcher, and Nerf six-shooter. He’s hopped-up on Mountain Dew, and he’s got this crazy look in his eye.

Watch out, Santa.