Most days pass without any serious longings. Sure, it’s hard not to lick the spoon when feeding The Girlie yogurt, or to take a bite of her egg-yolk-and-cheese omelette, or a little nibble of her turkey bologna. But generally, I’m solid.
Today, however, brought a few trials.
This morning, I was helping a friend move a few boxes to his new place. Passing through the front door, I smelled the coffee and saw the familiar colors covering a dozen Dunkin’ Donuts. In a second, I heard myself shouting protests at this painful intrusion into my senses. But I held my course and got through.
Tonight, I was working the grill for another friend’s party. Chicken breast, pork tenderloin, bratwurst, chicken sausages, chorizo, cheeseburgers, and ribs cooked in front of me while a keg chilled behind me. It’d be rude not to partake, wouldn’t it? Don’t I have a responsibility to make sure that the tenderloin is a juicy as it looks? But again, I survived with my goal intact (though I did eat a couple of non-organic carrots and some chips and guacamole).
I guess I should be proud of myself, but I’m not. I’m shocked that a person like me– so lazy and undisciplined and selfish about so very many things– can accomplish something so random by simply intending to do so, and sticking it out. Now if I can just intend to channel this newfound strength toward something truly important…