Thank God for video.
We’ve begun treating ourselves to some of the videos that we have of Will. The Wife has about 15 seconds on her cell phone, and we have some short clips loaded up with our photos on the computer. The video camera has some pieces, too, and we’ll get to those when we’re able.
My memory banks were wide open when we spent so much time with Will’s motionless body at the hospital, mortuary, and funeral. So it is nice to see him again (and again) with his eyes blinking, his head turning, his hands clutching, his arms waving, and his legs kicking. To hear him cough and vocalize. To– after what seems like a very long time– finally begin to remember his sound, his strength, his smell, and his warmth.
It is sad to watch, especially when the clip ends and he is still again. But the tears I cry now have a little more joy and a little less despair.