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Circadium: What’s that giant colon doing in your luggage?

July 31, 2006


Here’s the thing: while my son’s 3am feed is being delivered by pump, I’m at a bit of a loss. Sleeping on the couch is an option, but it’s a bit depressing, as any alarms of the pump will rouse me, and anyway it’s just a scrunched-up thirty minutes, at best. I could read a book, but I’m sure I will have forgotten what I read by tomorrow, and have to read it over. So I thought I’d just write about whatever weirdness is in my head. Let’s see what happens.

Who invented the Diaper Genie? Ours is on loan from some generous friend who I can’t even remember, and man, does it work. So there’s this continuous sleeve of plastic bag that you just knot off, and a lid that seals the thing off. So you just keep jamming those things in there, until the stench is unbearable, and then– here’s the cool part– you just *twist* the bag/sleeve dealio, and — viola’– you buy yourself some more time. And so on, and so on.

I’ll just bet the person was a parent who was inspired by the colon. Because when you finally take out that bag (through the *bottom* of the can– it’s amazing!) the whole assembly is kind of bulging and narrow and bulging and narrow, just like a lower intestine. Each section is a pocket of it’s own stench. But it’s all sealed up, just like a colon (usually).

Anyway, it looks funny when you carry it out to the trash. Once, I had to run to catch the truck on a Thursday morning, and I threw the whole thing in there.

Wow, that’s not very environmetally friendly, is it?

If you wanted to smuggle diamonds or something, you could put them in a diaper in the middle of one of those long bags. No one would ever look there.

How does smell work, anyway? I keep wondering about that. If you sniff a rose, does some of that rose go into your nose? That doesn’t seem possible. But how else would it work? Does air smell, and we just don’t notice it?

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4 Responses to “Circadium: What’s that giant colon doing in your luggage?”

  1. emmegab says:

    Mike, I’m thinking maybe you should blog more often at 3:00 in the morning, cause this one had me chuckling.
    We are so very thankful for your family at home, and hoping and praying all of the best as you guys settle into your new and crazy routines.
    jen

  2. dstavlund says:

    mike

    You are showing signs of the affects of sleep depredation! (sp) Your big words and weird thoughts are rising to the surface-Have a great day with your”all at home” family

    love
    dad

  3. kate says:

    I’ve wondered that about smell particles many times. Deeply disturbing. At one point, Dave Barry wrote a hilarious column to that effect. Ewwwww.

  4. Anonymous says:

    “sir, can you please explain to me why you have a colon of diapers in that suitcase?”

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