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Undercover Couple, Week 7

February 26, 2006


Since our instructor was out of commission last week with the dreaded ‘stomach flu‘, we took a second week off and then doubled up this week.

The class began with a videotaped lecture by The Big Guy himself: Dr. Bradley. Who started this whole thing, but who is apparently not ‘Bradley’ enough for ‘Bradley’ now. Like all doctors, he pronounces the word ‘centimeters’ incorrectly, asks women to come to the hospital (!) early in labor, and (gasp!) does episiotomies. Doctor Bradley, we never knew ye.

Our education continued as we shared effective touch-points to relieve tension. Should we massage shoulders, or feet, or hands? What would be helpful and relaxing? Which made for a fairly predictable discussion, until one of the husbands present happened to mention that he had found that the perineum is not a useful touch-point in this regard. Funny, ’cause that’s just the spot that gets me to lose all my cares.

And in a strange case of coincidence, we were doing a contraction simulation exercise. I was whispering “gobbledygook” (Bradley TradeMark) into the wife’s ear, and monitoring her muscles and breathing, and doing all of that important stuff. She was laying there, trying to relax, and doing a darned good job of it. But as we finished, I kindly noted that her breathing was a little too much ‘chest’ and not quite enough ‘belly’. To which she replied, “well, it’s kind of hard to belly-breathe when you’re having a contraction!”. A Braxton-Hicks, right on cue. We’re golden.

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4 Responses to “Undercover Couple, Week 7”

  1. [REDACTED] says:

    Uh, I think that was a little TMI with the whole perineum thing…

  2. kate says:

    THAT is EXACTLY what I was going to say.
    And, I’ll bet that relaxation is not part of the deal, in any case.

  3. Ryan says:

    I just said to Becky, “Isn’t the perineum…” Never mind.

  4. John Musick says:

    “…the perineum is not a useful touch-point in this regard. Funny, ’cause that’s just the spot that gets me to lose all my cares. “

    Milk just shot out of my nose!

    The perineum, aka, “the taint”!

    Mike, are you sure we never went to junior high school together…and got stuck there?

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