Good writing, with a strong point and with life oozing out.

This You Should Not Do

February 28, 2006

So last week I was headed to the Holocaust Museum. I stashed my car in one of the sneaky spots at the Tidal Basin and walked up 15th Street, scouting for my students at the west entrance and, not seeing them, heading around the block toward the east entrance. On my way, I saw a huge motorcade heading away from the White House, right toward me, and turning onto Independence. The size and scale of said assemblage of gas-guzzlers and media vehicles and rolling armories (they are the ones with the windows rolled down, I think) suggested that it was either the second-most powerful man in Washington or the Big Guy himself (aka, The Grumpy Hunter).

I’ve seen this procession a couple of times, but I’ve never had so many Secret Service guys, Capitol Police, or City Cops (oops, I mean District …) give me the hairy eyeball. I mean sure, I’ve got the mangey beard and wild hair these days, but I was wearing some respectable clothes and a smile. Why was everyone staring at me, even after the motorcade was well past the intersection? I mean, I was just walking up the sidewalk, wondering where I might find my students and trying to see what time it was…

…by fishing for the cell phone buried at the bottom of my inside jacket pocket…

Don’t try this at home, kids.

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4 Responses to “This You Should Not Do”

  1. Spaceman Spiff says:

    I’m glad you weren’t shot, Mike. All the same, it would have made a great news story.

    (Aside: wouldn’t you rather be hunting with Dick Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy?)

  2. Liz says:

    Oh man, you’re one lucky duck.

    And yes, I would take hunting with Dick any day over a ride with Teddy boy.

  3. Greta says:

    Mangey beard?
    Send photos please.

  4. John Musick says:

    Hey Mike, have you ever heard this Deep Thought by Jack Handy?:

    “I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.”

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