Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life. Amid the chuckles and chortles of the wife, I laced up my bright-white, brand-new (well, technically, I bought them a month ago…) shoes to mount my comeback. Just enough days after the new year to dodge the hordes of Resolution Runners, but not so many that I won’t stand a chance at my favorite race. The jeering increased as I appeared in shorts for the first time in over three months, and my biggest fan tauntingly offered to ‘pray for me’. Sheesh. I get no respect, I tell ya.
After what seemed like an eternity of choking on my own lungs and feeling an ever-tightening band around my hips, I checked my watch.
Three minutes.
But I persevered all the way to nineteen minutes and forty-eight seconds before I staggered to the door. Whereupon the wife tried to accuse me of a ‘fifteen minute run’!
Wow, am I sore today.
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Oh, come on? Surely you jest. It couldn’t of been that bad. Next time wear the special Mark Hoskins shorts and you will feel lighter.
Here’s a missing piece of information. How far did you run in your 15, um, I mean, 19 minutes? Probably further than my best 30 minute run.
What! No doubt. That sounds more like me trying to run, not you, O Mighty Mike!
Also missing: Were you wearing a shirt in this glorious 50-degree January weather?