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New Year’s Resolution

December 31, 2005

I’ve just bought the new filler pages for my day-timer, so it must be time to make a resolution. And here it is:

I’d like to grow a beard.

Not because I want to, or even because it will make me look more manly (though the wife might think so). I must do it because it will make me look more fatherly.

All of the expectant fathers in all of the birthing books and on all of the TV shows are bare-chested, hairy men. They attend to their wife’s every need, kneading and stroking and arranging and feeding all the live long day. Typically dressed only in a tiny pair of shorts, they jump in the tub or shower with the laboring mother with abandon. They squat, lean, lie, or push as necessary. They smile, and grunt, and sweat, and hold. And when the new baby is born, they shed a few tears before changing into dry shorts for the family photos.

Now, I’m not averse to shirtlessness. I mean, it is one of the main reasons I enjoy running in the summer. But with my minimal back and shoulder hair, I think I’ll need to compensate with some facial hair. Hope it does the trick.

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3 Responses to “New Year’s Resolution”

  1. dawnrw says:

    Now, you don’t really need to be shirtless through the entire laboring process . . . when you’ll really need shirtlessness is during transition. It’s pretty much required at that point. I would strongly recommend finding yourself a shirt fashioned from terry-cloth for the earlier stages of labor. Comfort, breathability, absorbency, and style all in one unbelievable fabric. If Stacy’s still on partial bed-rest, perhaps she could handsew it for you. I definitely think the beard is a good idea though.

  2. kate says:

    Dude, those men are total wusses. Ask me sometime what Matt said about one of those men who was in tight bicycle shorts during his wife’s labor. Out loud, so all could hear, during our Bradley class. Heh.
    The beard does kinda make you look hot, though. (sorry, Stacy, but I’m sure you agree.)

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