Good writing, with a strong point and with life oozing out.

Define ‘Church’…

August 21, 2005

I proudly carry the church cell phone, which means I get a call every once in a while about churchy stuff. Normally, the modus operandi is to gently inquire as to the intended target of the call, since our church shares a name with a big church in Seattle, an even bigger church in Michigan, a whole group of new Baptist church plants and countless other churches I don’t know about, plus an NPR-type CD series and a DVD series of hip sermons. So my mind is normally racing, and I’m trying to find a way to make sure that the person means to call “the Mars Hill Church in Northern Virginia?”

But the most recent call was right on target. Well, mostly.

Me: Hello?
Kind Female Caller: Can I speak to someone who knows a lot about Mars Hill Church?
Me: (tentatively) Well, maybe I can help you.
KFC: I live in Vienna (right on!) and I was hoping to use your parking lot. We’re trying to have a yard sale next weekend.
Me: (relieved) Oh, I’m very sorry. We’d love to help you, but we don’t have a parking lot, or any property.
KFC: (with slight emphasis) …Well…I’m just hoping to use your parking lot. For a yard sale.
Me: (smiling) Right; I understand. But our church just rents a coffee house to use for our weekly services. We don’t have a building or a parking lot.
KFC: (insistently) But it says right here, Mars Hill Church!
Me: (suddenly philosophical, and slightly pedantic) Well, we are a church; we just don’t happen to own any property.
KFC: (with resignation, and consternation) OK. ‘bye.

Posted in:

4 Responses to “Define ‘Church’…”

  1. kate says:

    hee HEE.
    I wonder what you’re ‘supposed’ to call yourselves if you’re a gathering of folks with no building?
    That is priceless. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Ross says:

    I don’t know… it sounds so trendy… so “New Testament” :)

  3. P3T3RK3Y5 says:

    thats soooo great. love it.

  4. sonja says:

    Well … you could suggest that she call the Safeway and see if they’d be amenable to sharing their parkinglot.

Leave a Reply