It is 70 degrees at 7am as I head out the door for a rainy run. I am excited about the day to come, but weary of yet another circle of chairs, talking with a small group of people about what we think about everything we’re learning. I’m hesitant to go into another big room and listen to people throw questions into the spokes of the speaker’s bike.
I’m tired of people who won’t get it. (It’s not that they can’t, or don’t understand– it is that they don’t want to get it.) Why do they come to a free-thinking seminar if they don’t want to think freely? Why do they feel so compelled to evaluate and judge everything–especially something they seem to understand so little about? Who are they trying to correct or impress or change? Why? I just feel sad for their closemindedness.
And just then, these lyrics come to mind:
“You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice”
People’s preoccupation with belief on the front end is the very reason they are stuck in evaluation and judgement. I wish they could come and listen and belong. To try on the ideas, live into the thoughts, taste the fruit of the whole package, and develop relationships with the people who are presenting. To listen.
It is true grief I feel: people are standing in front of an open door, and all they can do is to stand there with their paycheck and presbytery. Just come in, and sit down, put your feet up, and have a glass of wine. Consider it practice for heaven.